Marble Fudge Protein Cake

No pic with this one yet... I need to work on my marbling skillz yo!  Still, tasted AMAZING!

Whatchoo Need:
Vanilla portion:
1/2 scoop vanilla protein (as always I used Dymatize Elite Gourmet Vanilla)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tbsp stevia
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tbsp water
1/2 tbsp non-fat Greek yogurt

Chocolate portion:
1/2 scoop chocolate protein (yup, I used Dymatize)
1/2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tbsp stevia
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tbsp water
1/2 tbsp non-fat Greek yogurt

Mix that shit up:
Mix dry ingredients together for the vanilla and chocolate portions separately.  Then mix in the yogurt and water.  Consistency should be thick like pudding.  Spray an oven safe bowl or ramekin with cooking spray.  Simultaneous pour the vanilla and chocolate mixtures into the ramekin.  Swirl them together with a toothpick.  Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.

NOTE:  If you get distracted doing dishes and leave the cake in the oven for too long despite the fact that the oven timer is dinging like fucking crazy but your mind is preoccupied, and your cake comes out dry, pour coffee on it.  It's frickin delicious!

More coming...

Sorry I haven't posted any recipies in a few days.  I'm competing in 2 days and again next weekend so just focusing on training for the next week and a half.  I have a TON of recipe ideas to play around with after my shows so stay tuned my darlings...

And if you have any ideas or requests of foods and/or flavors that you'd like me play around with, don't hesistate to ask!  I'm always open to ideas!

Forrest Gump 'Shrooms



I was watching Forrest Gump this evening, and had a sudden urge to make shrimp.  Well Bubba naming off all his ways to cook shrimp forgot to mention that you can stuff mushrooms with them.  Well I definitely cooked up little pieces of Heaven.

Whatchoo Need:
70 grams cooked diced shrimp (I pan grilled mine with garlic)
75 grams fat free cottage cheese
1 egg white
1/3 cup chopped basil
12 baby portobello mushroom caps
Salt & pepper to taste

Mix that shit:
Mix the cottage cheese, egg white, basil, salt, pepper and shrimp together.  Place mushroom caps in an 11 x 13 baking pan (the 'shrooms sweat a lot when they bake so I wouldn't use a cookie sheet).  Spoon the mixture into the mushroom caps.  Bake at 350 for 10 minutes.  Makes 12, I ate 6.

Total macros for all 12 'shrooms:
Calories: 175
Fat: 0 g
Carbs: 11 g
Protein: 31 g

Protein Lemon Cake



Did you know that my first job was at Hot Dog on a Stick?  Yeah, I wore the ricockulous outfit and bounced on the lemonade (good tricep workout if you were wondering).  Why?  Because I LOVE lemons!  I'll eat them like an orange if you let me.  SO FUCKING delicious, but like horrible for your teeth.  Anyway, I love anything lemon flavored so I whipped up this bad boy.

Whatchoo Need:

1 scoup Dymatize Elite whey protein in Gourmet Vanilla
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp stevia
3 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp non-fat Greek yogurt
1 tsp lemon zest

Mix that shit up:

Mix protein powder, baking powder and stevia together (unless you're using a liquid stevia).  Add in the lemon juice and yogurt and mix well.  Pour into greased ramekin.  Top with lemon zest.  Bake at 350 for 8 minutes.

Calories: 122
Fat: 1.5 g
Carbs: 2 g
Protein: 24 g

Caramel Fudge Protein Brownie Orgasm



Some people say chocolate is a substitute for sex... and this is like if chocolate had an 8 inch tongue and could breathe through its ears...

Whatchoo Need:

1 scoop Dymatize Elite Rich Chocolate whey protein
1 tsp baking powder
1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp stevia
1 tbsp non-fat Greek yogurt
1 tbsp DaVinci sugar free caramel syrup

Walden Farms no-calorie chocolate syrup

Mix that shit:
Mix the protein, baking powder, cocoa and stevia (unless you're using a liquid stevia) together.  Add in the yogurt and syrup and mix until it looks all nice and smooth.  Bake in a greased ramekin for 10 minutes at 350 degrees.  Remove from oven, allow to cool for 5 minutes.  Drizzle with chocolate syrup.  NOW BURY YOUR FACE IN IT!

Calories: 117
Fat: 2 grams
Carbs: 2 grams
Protein: 24 grams

Pumpkin Pie Baked Oatmeal



I swear to Bob I'll post recipies other than oatmeal.  Breakfast happens to be my favorite meal of the day so its the one I play around with most often.  I know I shit-talked about pumpkins with my caramel apple oatmeal recipie, but when I was a camp counselor my camp name was "Pumpkin" so I decided that I did infact need to make pumpkin oatmeal so I could LITERALLY tell people to eat me.  Wasn't my favorite, but still noms.

Whatchoo Need:
40 grams oatmeal
75 grams pumpkin
2 egg whites
2 tbsp DaVinci Chai Spice sugar free syrup
2 tbsp Stevia
1 tbsp vanilla extract
dash of pumpkin pie spice
dash of cinnamon
dash of all spice

Mix that shit:
Mix all ingredients together.  Pour into greased oven safe bowl.  Dust top with a sprinkle of cinnamon.  Bake at 375 for 35 minutes (the pumpkin makes it necessary to bake a little longer than most).

Calories: 214
Fat: 2 grams
Carbs: 36 grams
Protein: 14 grams

Garlic Chicken Pasta

I'm single, its sucks.  However, there are 2 upsides to being single: 1) I can go days on end without shaving my legs; 2) I can cook with as much fucking garlic as I want!!!!

Whatchoo need:

85 grams of cooked grilled chicken breasts, diced
40 grams multigrain pasta
Garlic garlic and more garlic
1 tbsp Dried parsley
4 cherry tomatoes, diced
1 cup reduced sodium chicken broth
1/2 cup sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup chopped broccoli

Cook dat shit:

Cook the pasta in the chicken broth in a small pot with about 1 tbsp parsley.  After 5 minutes, toss in the mushrooms, garlic (sane people would use 1 clove, freaks like me use about 3), tomatoes and chicken, cover and simmer on low.  After about 5 more minutes toss in the broccoli, but don't mix so that it steams, but doesn't cook and get and soggy and mushy and disgusting.  Cover and continue simmering over low heat for 2 minutes until the broccoli looks bright green and steamed.

Calories: 275
Fat: 2 grams
Carbs: 33 grams
Protein: 25 grams

Chocolate Chip Cookie Oatmeal

ME WANT COOKIE!  Yep, I'm just like cookie monster, but like take away the fur and add some abs and boobs.

Whatchoo need:
40 grams old fashioned oats
2 egg whites
2 tbsp unsweetened almond milk
2 tbsp Stevia
dash of salt
2 tbsp Da Vinci sugar free cookie dough syrup
1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder

Mix that shit up:
Mix all ingredients together.  Pour into greased oven-safe bowl, bake at 375 for 30 minutes.

Calories: 205
Fat: 4 grams
Carbs: 28 grams
Protein: 14 grams

Caramel Apple Baked Oatmeal

Its fall, and every damn recipe out there right now involves pumpkins.  Poor apples are all neglected and shit, so I decided to make a caramel apple recipe.

Whatchoo need:
50 grams granny smith apple
40 oz old fashioned oats
2 egg whites
dash of all spice
dash of cinnamon
2 tbsp almond milk
1 tbsp Stevia
2 tbsp Da Vinci sugar free caramel syrup

Walden Farms No Calorie Caramel Dip

Mix that shit up:
Mix all ingredients together except for the caramel dip.  Pour into a greased oven-safe bowl.  Top with dollops of caramel dip.  Bake at 375 for 30 minutes.

Calories: 235
Fat: 4 grams
Carbs: 35 grams
Protein: 14 grams

Snickers Baked Oatmeal

Who doesn't like Snickers?  I mean really.  Name one person who ever has taken a bit of a Snickers and said "What the mother of crap is this shit?  It tastes like Shamu's sperm!"  Yeah, doesn't happen.  Everyone loves Snickers because they're FUCKING DELICIOUS.  So I crafted some oatmeal modeled after that sinful treat.

Watchoo need:
40 grams old fashioned oats
2 egg whites
2 tbsp unsweetened almond milk
2 tbsp DaVinci sugar free peanut butter syrup
dash of sea salt
1 tbsp Stevia (or other sweetener)
2 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder (Ghirardelli's is the best)

Walden Farms No Calorie Caramel Dip


Mix that shit:
Mix everything except the caramel dip together.  Pour into a greased oven-safe bowl.  Top with dollops of caramel.  Bake at 375 for 30 minutes.

Calories: 205
Fat: 3 grams
Carbs: 28 grams
Protein: 14 grams